Text Jokes of the Day

1.)
SON: Dad I like her,and I want to marry her!
DAD: Son don't marry her co'z she's your sister and your mother
doesn't know it. The next day......
SON: Mom I like her,and I want to marry her but daddy said
i should not marry her co'z she's my sister and you don't know it.
MOM: Son marry her co'z he's not your father!

2.)
Panchito: Vitamins ko ABC -- Alak, Babae at Cigarette.
Babalu: Ako naman DEF -- Damo, Egg at Frutas.
Dolphy: Ako, from A to Z. Alma to Zsa Zsa.

3.)
Customer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang ang
dali pang mabali.
Waiter (inis pa): Alam nyo sir, ang dami ng gumamit nyan, pero
kayo lang nakabali!

4.)
KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung
papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito
wala pa rin siya!
Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya..!

5.)
Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang dito
humaharap sa korte ko, ha?
Swindler: Your honor, hindi ko kasalanan kung hindi po

kayo ma-promote!

6.)
Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!
Inay: Bastos 'yun, ah! Ano ginawa mo?
Anak: Inalis ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di n'ya makita!

7.)
"PLANTS VS. ZOMBIE LOVE STORY"

ZOMBIE: why do you keep on striking me with your peas that
will eventually shoot me to death when i only wanted to be near you?
PEASHOOTER: because you are only interested with my brain.
How about my heart?